Post # 38 : 5 minutes

Don't bother about title, you'll get it soon.
Age 4 : I WAS DEEPLY SAD  becuase even at 100 volume of the TV, I could not listen what Dexter was saying. I said Dad to complaint to cable wala and he did it everyday. (I still believe he must had).

Age 6 : I WAS DEEPLY SAD because that day, at departure time, I had forgotten my water bottle and I went late to my rickshaw and as I saw a girl sitting on corner of the wooden plank. I didn't care about the teachers and mates and yelled at her. Even abused. She still didn't move an inch. And I had to sit on another seat.

Age 8 : I WAS DEEPLY SAD becuase it was my b'day. My favorite mam and our class incharge- Shweta mam was absent. I was sad. But went even more sad when first 20 roll numbers were said to sit in section B and remaining were said to sit in section C. All of my friends, all of them went in section B and I cursed my late admission - I was Roll number 35. I sat alone on last bench and celebrated my bday alone sketching my and my friends' name on bench.

Age 11 : I WAS DEEPLY SAD becuase my two best friends, actually, the only best friends left the school. Felt like both tyres of my cycle were detached.

Age 12 : I WAS DEEPLY SAD becuase under parent's pressure (and greed of gift which they promised but never gave) I got promoted from 6th to 8th, skipping 7th grade. My only friend Parth Mehta was busy with his other friend and I sat on last second bench with an unknown guy , silent, saying to myself "Why the hell I did this?"

Age 13 : I WAS DEEPLY SAD becuase when I saw those tiny and ugly rooms of my new school, I first time felt the loss of freedom. But finally I became king of the poors.

Age 15 : I WAS DEEPLY SAD because I faced a whole new world ALONE. Six of us were supposed to come in new school but only I did. You may feel it easy to live in a boys school for two years and then sit in a co-education school when you have no sense to sit, talk, walk etc in front of girls.

Age 16, today : I WAS DEEPLY SAD because today I realised why I am happy for 23 hours and 55 minutes a day but for 5 minutes atleast, I turn sad enough to dominate over those times of being happy.
In those 5 minutes, I estimate the weight of expectations + tensions + future plans and many many more.

I can't focus on studies until I am under effect of family, facebook, class friends, tuition friends, random friends, LOVE, dreams, my own book, my blog, MY PEOPLE.

Those 5 minutes make me feel how alone I am.
Those 5 minutes make me feel how small I am.
Those 5 minutes make me feel how unskilled I am.
Those 5 minutes make me feel how foolish I am.
Those 5 minutes make me feel how careless I am.

Everything seem to be laughing at me for these 5 minutes.

But on contrary, I love living these 5 minutes.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Post # 38 : 5 minutes

Don't bother about title, you'll get it soon.
Age 4 : I WAS DEEPLY SAD  becuase even at 100 volume of the TV, I could not listen what Dexter was saying. I said Dad to complaint to cable wala and he did it everyday. (I still believe he must had).

Age 6 : I WAS DEEPLY SAD because that day, at departure time, I had forgotten my water bottle and I went late to my rickshaw and as I saw a girl sitting on corner of the wooden plank. I didn't care about the teachers and mates and yelled at her. Even abused. She still didn't move an inch. And I had to sit on another seat.

Age 8 : I WAS DEEPLY SAD becuase it was my b'day. My favorite mam and our class incharge- Shweta mam was absent. I was sad. But went even more sad when first 20 roll numbers were said to sit in section B and remaining were said to sit in section C. All of my friends, all of them went in section B and I cursed my late admission - I was Roll number 35. I sat alone on last bench and celebrated my bday alone sketching my and my friends' name on bench.

Age 11 : I WAS DEEPLY SAD becuase my two best friends, actually, the only best friends left the school. Felt like both tyres of my cycle were detached.

Age 12 : I WAS DEEPLY SAD becuase under parent's pressure (and greed of gift which they promised but never gave) I got promoted from 6th to 8th, skipping 7th grade. My only friend Parth Mehta was busy with his other friend and I sat on last second bench with an unknown guy , silent, saying to myself "Why the hell I did this?"

Age 13 : I WAS DEEPLY SAD becuase when I saw those tiny and ugly rooms of my new school, I first time felt the loss of freedom. But finally I became king of the poors.

Age 15 : I WAS DEEPLY SAD because I faced a whole new world ALONE. Six of us were supposed to come in new school but only I did. You may feel it easy to live in a boys school for two years and then sit in a co-education school when you have no sense to sit, talk, walk etc in front of girls.

Age 16, today : I WAS DEEPLY SAD because today I realised why I am happy for 23 hours and 55 minutes a day but for 5 minutes atleast, I turn sad enough to dominate over those times of being happy.
In those 5 minutes, I estimate the weight of expectations + tensions + future plans and many many more.

I can't focus on studies until I am under effect of family, facebook, class friends, tuition friends, random friends, LOVE, dreams, my own book, my blog, MY PEOPLE.

Those 5 minutes make me feel how alone I am.
Those 5 minutes make me feel how small I am.
Those 5 minutes make me feel how unskilled I am.
Those 5 minutes make me feel how foolish I am.
Those 5 minutes make me feel how careless I am.

Everything seem to be laughing at me for these 5 minutes.

But on contrary, I love living these 5 minutes.

2 Comments:

At December 2, 2011 at 11:46 PM , Blogger raj's thoughts said...

And ur these 5 minutes will bring u to top of the world

 
At December 5, 2011 at 6:13 PM , Blogger Chaand Sethi said...

no predictions.

 

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